My kid is driving me nuts!
Latest from on the couch
My GWAD life changes when you have a kid, doesn’t it?
People with kids tell childless humans this all the time. How often have you heard someone say, “Now make sure you do all your travelling before you have a baby because you won’t be doing much when the kid arrives”? Or “I remember when we had the freedom to go out dancing til all hours of the morning” (while nudging husband) “remember that John? Oooh we danced for hours, that was until we had little Marcus”.
Yes, I’m very familiar with all of that wonderful advice and by no means was I oblivious that a life change was ahead when I became pregnant. But, I have just been punched in the face with a rough reality check.
This reality check has come in the form of a one-year-old boy. I have had a relatively great 12 months with him. I have unbelievable support from my family so the fact I can ship him off to others on a regular basis has kept me sane and in the baby love bubble. My son has been a good feeder (border line human pig). He has also been a good sleeper and is content to play by himself (probably due to my lack of interest in playing baby games with him). I’ll admit I cruised through his first year.
Don’t worry…I’m sipping on a big ass glass of payback now.
Disclaimer: I love my kid, like shitloads, but indulge me for three minutes while I vent unlovingly about him because for the last couple of months he has been driving me bonkers.
Since my son Bax turned one, he has taken to whinging. Hardcore. He has excelled in this area and it’s fair to say he may be one of the best crawling around. The noise that escapes his mini mouth several hundred times a day is like a loud siren squealing violently in my face. He will be content sitting flipping the pages of a book, being all cute and quiet, and then within a microsecond the siren will start up. So I give him his blocks, a smile will take over his dial as he fondles the fabulous colourful squares, then again without warning the siren starts to blare. This pretty much takes place during every activity of the day. While eating breakfast, lunch and dinner, during nappy changes and the 20 snacks he consumes a day, while going for a walk or feeding the ducks. It. Never. Seems. To. Stop.
I’m told it’s a phase, that he is testing his boundaries. That this is the only way he can communicate at the moment. That he’s a baby and that’s what babies do. Blah blah blah diddy blah. I get a little relief in knowing this will eventually pass, but let’s also keep in mind phases can last for quite a while. Remember slap bands in primary school? They were just a phase but I was into them for at least 12 months. Not to mention slinkies, hyper colour tee shirts, Stussy pants and Kuta Lines hoodies. All of those things were just phases but all lasted for yonks. If the one-year-old whinge phase goes on much longer it’s fair to say I might try to sell him. For a fair price of course, because he has good tricks like clapping his hands and high fiving.
I am totally aware that I have wailed my grown women whinge siren at you for the duration of this read. Oh god it just hit me, maybe he has learnt it all from me? Maybe an apple has fallen and landed extremely close to the tree.
Did your kid have an annoying phase? What was it?